'When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object'

If they are thoughts that would haunt you left unturned then you must attend to them as they arise now. It is possible for us to lead our lives free from the burdens of the past, but only if we address them and sort out what belongs to us, what we need to untangle and how we will do that, and also to hand back the load of stuff that wasn't ours to take on in the first place. In one sense that is where confiding in a trusted friend has helped me more than I would have ever thought possible, but on the other hand a lot of my thought patterns and internal belief systems seem to be brought out and processed when I am alone, thinking in bed, or whilst I am reading, for example - recently, from reading The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I truly believe it has changed my life. And now I will tell you why. In your email your talked of how we need to be apart for a while and I agree, and do not feel in any way rejected. I know that before I can make any important decisions I must feel complete and fulfilled within my own body, inside my boundaries and through self-fulfillment. In the last chapter of the book Tereza's feelings and emotions for Karenin are constantly contrasted with her feelings for Tomas. Her selfless love for Karenin and how calm, secure and content she feels in his presence compared to her insecure, needy and desperate love for Tomas. I do not want to be another example of selfish and needy human love and I do not want to try to reshape and recreate anybody who comes into my life. I am not saying I want to love you or anybody for that matter in the same way I love Harvey as that would be patronising and extremely irritating, but I want to feel that honest mutual affection, respect, and serenity. However, I know that it is not something I need nor want today. Do you understand? I don't think I have explained it very well as I am tired and my eyes are closing.